How to Deal with Negative People in Your Life
If you’re reading this post, you have undoubtedly come across some negative people in your life. Before we talk about how to deal with these people, lets define who it is we’re talking about.
Negative people, the ones who we are referring to here, are not the ones who always seem down and are constantly procrastinating. The negative people we’re talking about here are the ones who have gone past self pity and are now trying to infect those around them. The super negative people who not only hold themselves back, but who try to pull others down with their negativity.
Learning how to deal with negative people is actually much easier than you may think, and the key to it has already been mentioned above.
Lets compare someone at the top of their game, say Donald Trump, and your local grocer. Now consider the amount of time Donald Trump would spend trying to be negative towards your local grocer and try to pull him down. He wouldn’t spend a second to even thinking about it. Now consider the amount of time your local grocer, a democrat and someone who’s struggling in his business because of the government, would spend talking negatively about and trying to pull down Donald Trump. Probably quite a lot.
Trump wouldn’t spend a second to think about your grocer because to him, there is not a single thing the little guy can do to affect his life, so therefore he wouldn’t even care although his ego might if the grocer got a chance to throw an egg on his face. But even the egg can be wiped off while Trump is in his private jet laughing about it. The grocer on the other hand, would still have all of that negativity and go back to his life, which he probably doesn’t enjoy, and try to figure out other ways to pull other people down and make them as unhappy as he is. Instead of trying to pull Trump down with his negativity, why wouldn’t her try to become Trump and defeat him by improving the lives of others in the way he feels Trump isn’t? What is he getting by being negative towards Trump? He certainly isn’t improving his life or circumstances, so it all seems completely absurd and useless.
This is the way you should look at all the negative people in your life.
If you have ever come across someone who wants to talk to you about their life, and they find it difficult to say anything positive about themselves or their circumstances, you can try to spend some time with them to change their perspective and outlook, but ultimately it is up to them to turn their life around. If then they try to talk about your life in a negative way, try to criticize your actions in a hateful and angry manner, then its time to see them for who they are and end the conversation.
We all go through moments in our life when we have to re-calibrate and redefine our goals. In these moments, it may appear to others that we’re “down” or “negative” but its just the time that everyone needs to find a new purpose or clarify their current one. Now imagine that you can not find a goal that excites you and you see a friend who is completely excited about theirs. You talk to them and you start to see how happy they are about their work and their life. Would you then try to be negative about their aspirations and hold them down? Imagine how disgusting this type of thinking is and how pathetic you look when you act like that. You’ve shifted your focus from trying to fix your own life to trying to scupper other peoples plans about theirs. Not only do you not get anything out of it, you waste your time and energy, as well as those of the people you’re trying to negatively impact, when you should be using this time to figure out where you want to go with your life.
Someone with a clear purpose is actually motivated more to succeed when they see those around them working so hard to pull them down. It shows them that the people around them care more about stopping their success than achieving their own, and they thrive off of the attention they get.
If those around you are trying to pull you down, they are simply showing you their lack of self belief that they can even achieve your current state, let alone get to where you are going. They see your current level of achievement as unattainable and because if this, they do whatever they can to try to pull you down and stop you, just so they can feel better about their lack of abilities and skills.
If those around you would rather spend their time thinking about you, caring about your life, and trying to find ways to stop you from succeeding, see it as a tremendous compliment and feed off of it. Use the attention they give you as an indicator that you’re on the right track and keep doing what you’re doing, because its clearly working. Use the ways they try to attack you as key areas that you can work on and develop yourself to ensure it can never have an impact on your progress, thank them for their time an attention, wish them good luck and be on your way.
A negative person should not be confused with someone who wants to give you constructive feedback on how you can improve your life. A friend who has taken the time to find ways that they believe you can be working or living better is not being negative, they are looking for ways to help you out of respect and admiration for your work. They are coming to you from a position of power and their time and attention should be appreciated. Their intention is not to hold you down, but they are trying to pull you up in the areas that they believe you are lacking in because they want to see you succeed.
On the other hand, negative people are coming from a position of jealousy, hate, anger, and discontent at their own lives. They want nothing more than for you to be infected by these negative emotions and start to waste your time to either fight with them or become negative in yourself. If that is what they want, surely the opposite course of action would be the right one to take.
In learning how to deal with negative people, you have to first understand their intention and see the position they are coming from. When you are aware of these points, dealing with negative people becomes very simple. Simply be thankful for their time and attention, find anything in what they said that can be useful for you and discard the rest, understand that their hate comes from their desire to PULL YOU DOWN to their level, refuse to be affected in any way, smile and carry on.
Ensure that you never, under any circumstance, appear to be affected by their negativity even accidentally. Even if you find their attempts humorous, try not to show it as this is still a reaction that they may enjoy. Simply ignore, appreciate, and continue on with your life. Your success is your duty and no one can or should be able to ever stop it. Keep working towards your goals and thank the negative people for showing you that you’re on the right path.
Mehdi KA is an inspirational blogger and motivational speaker. He has traveled to over 43 countries and enjoys writing as a way to share his experiences and life lessons.
In theImportance.net he shares content that he believes can help people to achieve their goals and live a fulfilling life.